The Brady Bunch

Episode 53 - The Wheeler-Dealer

Original Air Date: October 8, 1971

 

 

[Mike and Greg standing next to Greg’s recently purchased car]

 

Greg:

            Boy, did I ever get stuck with a lemon. “A little elbow grease.”

 

Mike:

Yeah, well I don’t think a little elbow grease is going to cure rigor mortis.

 

[Mike leans against the car]

 

Greg:

            Careful, Dad. You’re liable to crush the door. Some friend that Eddie.

 

Mike:

Ah, come on Greg. Forget about Eddie. You made a business deal – he got the best of you. That’s all.

 

Greg:

            Business deal. That’s the last time I’m going to do business with a friend.

 

Mike:

            I think maybe you learned something about the business world.

 

Greg:

            What d’ya mean?

 

Mike:

            Well, look. You take sellers. They’ve got something to sell, right?

 

Greg:

            Right.

 

Mike:

Naturally they’re going to make it sound as attractive as possible even if they have to exaggerate to do it.

 

Greg:

            You mean lie.

 

Mike:

Yes. Quite often they do. Though they might call it “gilding the lily.” But the important thing is that you’re the buyer. You have to keep your guard up, see? It’s the old principle of caveat emptor.

 

Greg:

            Caveat emptor?

 

Mike:

It’s Latin for “let the buyer beware.” Or to put it in the vernacular, “them who don’t look, sometimes gets took.”

 

Greg:

            Well, that Eddie really took me.

 

Mike:

Yeah he did. He had you hog-tied and happy before you knew it. But you let it happen. Okay. The important thing is that you learned something.

 

Greg:

            Don’t worry Dad. Have I ever.

 

Mike:

            Good boy.

 

 

 

[Peter and Bobby in the boys’ bedroom. Greg enters]

 

Peter:

What were you talking to Dad about?

 

Greg:

            Oh, a few of the facts of life. Like “caveat emptor.”

 

Bobby:

            What’s that?

 

Greg:

            It means “let the buyer beware,” in Latin.

 

Peter:

            Yeah. Don’t you know anything?

 

Bobby:

            Oh, I know Latin. Obby-bay Ady-bray. That’s “Bobby Brady” in Latin.

 

Peter:

            That’s Pig-Latin, loser!

 

Greg:

Boy, I sure learned my lesson. When I get rid of that old klunk this time I’m the seller. And it’s the other guy who has to do the caveat emptoring.

 

Peter:

            How ya going to get rid of it?

 

Greg:

            Just find somebody who’s dumber than I am.

 

Bobby:

            Isn’t going to be easy.

 

 

 

[Marcia and Jan jumping rope outside. Mike and Carol enter from the car]

 

Carol:

            Hello, girls.

 

Marcia:

            Hi.

 

Jan:

            Hi.

 

Carol:

            Well it looks like Greg must have got his car running.

 

Mike:

Well he must have used artificial respiration. Hey girls, you know where Greg went?

 

Marcia:

He was showing the car to some boy and then they drove off somewhere. He was trying to get us to say how great that old wreck was.

 

Jan:

He kept winking at us, you know like that? [Jan winks] And he even gave Cindy a candy bar.

 

[Marcia and Jan exit]

 

Carol:

            Well I wonder what that’s all about.

 

Mike:

            Hmm, so do I.

 

[Peter and Bobby enter from the house]

 

Mike:

            Boys, Greg sell his car?

 

Bobby:

            Yeah. He called the guy a pigeon.

 

Peter:

            He said he was gonna really cavet the guy’s eruptor.

 

[Peter and Bobby exit]

 

Carol:

            Cavet his eruptor? What?

 

Mike:

            I think he means caveat his emptor.

 

Carol:

            Caveat emptor? Now where’d they pick that up?

 

Mike:

Well, I had a long talk with Greg about buying and selling, but I’m afraid he learned the wrong lesson.